i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
