my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
