They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
