Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Terrible idea I love it
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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