I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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