He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
