I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
