I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
