Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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