I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
In America we eat man semen.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
