"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
