we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
