I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
worst night to have a conscience
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
