spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
