ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
