umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
