I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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