just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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