im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
My feet surprised me
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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