why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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