i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
