Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Dicks are not precious.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
