Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
