i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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