Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She has the best kind of daddy issues
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
