Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
