Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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