I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
my poor anus
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
