cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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