Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
you will always have a special place in my vag
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
