Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
