Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
