another moral hangover. fuck.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
