Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
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