I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
