I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
