i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
