i think i have two assholes
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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