is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Every concussion has its silver lining
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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