obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
