I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
A+ Viking dick
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
