its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
