If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
