i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
