just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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