That's intense
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
