using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Come on in and take your pants off
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