I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
