he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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