Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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