Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
