i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
my being single is dangerous.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
