My underwear smells like fireworks.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
